The Pearl of Great Price . . .

     When I was young I was always writing ‘books.’

    ...The fact that they never exceeded a few pages or the first chapter never deterred me. I never gave up beginning, only finishing! But when I grew up I did eventually progress and now I have finished a few.

The Pearl

When I am old I will write a pearl.

The pearl will be 25,000 miles wide,

Because it will circle the world

In one second.

It will be the smallest thing

Which can do that –  

Small as a pea under 20 mattresses,

That is why it will be a pearl.

Then the world will know what it has

Forgotten,

And I will be gone.

                        – Age 7

Dancing in the Light . . .

ALL THROUGH THAT PARTICULAR DAY had been a ‘shaking’ of all I knew; and then, asleep in bed that night, in what must have been the early hours of the morning, there was a kind of small ‘explosion’ in me, and I suddenly I found myself filled with delight and doing cartwheels of joy inside me; and, almost at once, I was moving up and up and up on a wide and brilliant beam of light where angels were . . .

  DAY WAS JUST BEGINNING! Joyous from the womb of the dawn, the newborn skies, first clothed in pale amethyst, then amber, jasper and gold, sang as a young sun arose to conquer the whole expanse of the heavens and to welcome the arrival of a new Day! Very soon its robe of softest blue would spread out as a canopy, holding above for all the promise of truth and comfort. 
   On the earth a mist was rising from the ground. Like a floating bridal veil of purest white it was; brilliantly shining from the light and energy that was within it. Slowly moving along, and towards a wide glassy river, it was watering the ground as it drifted a little above it, and then beyond and away. In the air the music of Morning, silver sounds of life mingling with the songs of birds and the voice of trees, each living thing adding its melody to the welcoming of day, and in all the beauty the awakening of hope in a fulfilling of answers. Emerald deeps of love flowed through the whole valley and embraced and blessed the green-lit pleasant Land.

   Beautiful living beings, which inhabited the arboreal realm, and bright angels, and people filled with jasper fiery light were everywhere. And in all the ‘dancing’ in the light, and in the music, such harmony as would make you cry! All pervading love, warmth and comfort filled the entire Valley; and in ‘running’ delight embraced everything there was!

   In the midst of the Valley and beside the glassy river – the river of life – were many fruit trees growing, all along its banks, and on both sides. Planted at the edge of the living river, these trees were trees of life, and so their fruit was new every month. The fruit, when it appeared looked like apples . . . magical ones, too . . . for no matter how many bites one took of them, they were never any less. This was because the life they gave was real, not an illusion of life: knowledge about life, but life itself, and so it was always replenished.

   And the life they gave was ‘back-to-front’ to us, as it took away shadows of knowledge to give us the life of it. And so no one ate of these trees who would not brave the ‘seeming darkness’ which was life!  I was shown this by the angels, when they said, the life of the name of the fruit:  “elppa” . . . or . . .  “helper” . . . the fruit of the trees of life beside the river of life . . . helped us . . . in life!

   So, too, the leaves of the trees. They helped in life, also. And the leaves were the writings which taught the way of life, which no one could read who would not embrace the light. The leaves could be found in the books written by those whose names were written in the Lamb’s Book of Life. And the leaves of these books were as medicine, for the healing of hearts. 

   All of a sudden, it was as if there was a small ‘explosion’ of bright light, with an ‘earthquake.’ (It was a little like the first ‘explosion’ when I had first seen the Sky, and come into it . . . which was either many eons ago, or just a little while ago; I don’t know. 
  Perhaps it is impossible to describe . . . but I will try.  (And if my words come in a 'different' order, it is the order in which they are meant to be.)  I was in a tree, and the tree was in me! And the pages I in it wrote were emerald leaves hovering and dancing in the light in and about the tree which was in me and I in it. And the pages which were leaves went flying about and travelled far and wide although they were always ‘attached’ to the tree; and in some sense I could not understand, never left it. And . . . it was as if the tree had always been, and was always known, even before the beginning, although it was new every moment. 
  After a timeless time I slowly became aware of the sky. Soon, all there was was sky; and it was beautiful, beyond description. Founded in the softest blue, it seemed that all I wanted to do was eat it!  To eat the blue sky? How funny! How can you eat the sky? But that’s how I felt. That’s what I found I was trying to do! 
  In fact I wanted to ‘eat’ everything there! Perhaps it was knowing I was a part of it all. And, most of all that I belonged in it all, or that it all belonged in me . . . even crazier, I suppose! But so full of love and joy and delight it was, all the Land was irresistible to me! And I could not help but dance and move about on tiptoes which were always leaving the ground, for a lifting rising was in me and everywhere, and in everything: life as light as a feather and buoyant as a helium balloon on a sunny day! 
  Then suddenly there was one of the 'apples' in my hand, from one of the trees of life beside the River of Life. I was holding it before me and looking at it closely. It was truly beautiful. And so I found it exquisitely shaped and formed. And it was of many merging, changing, transparent colours; all the colours of the rainbow and many more besides which I had never seen before! And as I continued to gaze at it; accepting it, loving it: so shining did it become it was as if it was a globe of fire! . . . In it was LIFE!
   And just as I had wanted to eat the Sky when I really saw it, it was the same with this amazing 'fruit of LIFE' when I wanted to eat it: all at once it was in me - all infused inside me - and in my hand it became as a bird that flew up from my hand high into the air! And as it was with the bird I found I was moving and dancing above the earth even higher in joy and delight! Something had fallen from me when I 'ate' the helper-apple . . . like a layer of skin, or a discarded cloak . . . and I was freer and lighter . . . moving onward and further through the shining bright light and through the centre of the garden in the midst of the beautiful Valley.
   And I knew I was loved; and the feeling of that love grew and grew; and I was comforted above and beyond all I had ever suffered. 

Angels on the Ladder of Heaven . . .

I imagined that when I should turn a page, or walk the next step in an ordinary day that I would come across something that would make it less ordinary and me more alive and awake to whatever was in the air . . .

I didn’t want much; just a glimpse of what was there that I couldn’t see with my normal eyes. It was always being offered: I knew there was always more: I had already found a host of lighted things. I think I was always looking . . . 

One thing led to another, and that would lead me on to find the next thing. And on this beautiful day as I was walking along the path past the house I turned the corner and there before me was a ladder . . .

And it was in my way. I looked at it. Suddenly I knew the ladder was in my inner way within me; and I stopped and listened. And I saw heaven open, and the angels of God which are always with us ascending and descending upon the ladder of heaven as we increase or decrease in the light . . . 

Joy in the light increased by degrees as I decreased . . .

Degrees of climbing down the Ladder of Knowing: losing more and more of my own tight-held opinions as I descended . . .

The less I had of my own, the more I had of his: there being more space in me the more I descended and decreased . . .

The rungs of the Ladder stepping down were decreasing barriers to my knowing more and increasing lifts to stepping up within the light . . .

The more I descended dying to myself, the more his light could enter my heart and ascend the stairway of heaven . . . 

It was shown me, also, that the angels moving up and down the stairway were the thoughts and intents of my heart;  or that they were the bearers and carriers of the thoughts and intents of my heart . . . in the light . . . that glorious beam of light that was the stairway and relationship with God who IS LOVE . . . it was the way of Life!

 

                                      *

A CIRCLE OF SWIFT SONGS: a spiritual allegory

                 

     In writing THE BUTTERFLY STORY I had glimpsed that one way to enter Life! was by a sort of ‘not-doing:’ in simple surrender and rest; but that there could be another way, which was by virtually doing the opposite, and that it could be good, too, I had not been able to bear; for I had crossed over, so completely and any method of acquiring wisdom and knowledge which was by human effort I had long ago learned to abandon within me. But, after a long while of more dying to self and waiting, I was given in a waking dream the hint of a greater truth which I had not previously glimpsed. I was about to discover a deeper level to seeing and perceiving truth; and a greater, or more true dimension of love and peace in which all the sensibilities and giftings of others were fully provided for and there could be no cause for offence. 

                                                           

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A Circle of Swift Songs

  TEARS HAD FORMED A POOL. And through them it was as though I was looking from above and seeing down through the clouds. Mountains and beautiful valleys with cascading rivers and areas of dense forest were below. Then appearing in the far distance, amidst a great wooded wilderness, I saw a most beautiful lake. Around its edge were natural grassy places; flower-filled meadows, the haunt of fallow deer and forest creatures which came there to drink. But in one place the lake was bordered by the sheer rock wall of a great high cliff.

    It was very still. Not a breath of wind. The surface of the lake was smooth and clear and shining as glass. It was all was so quiet there breathed a sense of eternity.  Or as if time itself stood still, while angels watched.  

    Suddenly, a Stone is dropped, and from a great height. It plunges into the still water. From its fall, a vortex is caused in the centre of the lake, a hole greater than the size of the Stone and a huge fountain of water shoots skyward in the upheaval. The waves caused around it swell huge at first, then grow successively smaller and smaller as the ripples extend on and on; until, imperceptibly, they reach the very shores of the lake.

 So clearly did I see this all happening that it seemed to take a very long time to happen? I don’t know. It is hard to explain in words. But it seemed as though I was seeing everything in slow motion, for every detail is precise in my memory.

    It was only a dream. A fleeting waking vision. But I remembered it vividly, and I wondered what it meant. As I pondered, I saw again the fall of the Stone. It was the Central Thing: the Stone of Stumbling and the Rock of Offence. Then I recalled the circles of the waves, slowly decreasing to become ripples, until they were so small I could hardly notice them. As I weighed these things in my heart I drew closer, and after a moment I heard the following words rise from within me; they were not audible words just a silent knowing of something I did not know.

         A circle of swift songs: 

         The melody of degrees;  

         Fairly apportioned the glory

         Of the kingdom of heaven

    Then as I listened there was an opening in a once shut place, and I could see something of the meaning of the dream. I suddenly realized it spoke as an answering picture-story to the pain I was dealing with in my innermost being: the pain of being rejected for speaking the truth that no one wanted to hear. Then the picture unravelled . . .

   The ripples, they had had no meeting place! In that pattern of concentric circles, not one touched; not one wave or ripple, met!  There was no link between them. No bridge. Though they followed one after the other in perfect pattern, they never touched. They had no direct interaction with one another though they came from the same source and the same power moved them. ...For a moment I was devastated. All my longings dashed to pieces! No one would hear me who wasn't in the same ripple as me! I was separated from others! Alone! I really was…all alone! A sense of grief manifested in the centre of my being, and a sob rose up and came out of me; and for a moment I cried.

   And then Love stooped, and spoke. Love bent down, and looked upon me; and said, ‘I have made it so.’ My response a baby’s tears; and I just cried some more. But then the glint of a dawning:  ‘It was meant to be that way...?’ and I marvelled. As usual my natural, first-sight arose next, to steal away my dawn, and cloud my insight over, as my own thinking always does. ‘Oh, but why did you make it so? Surely, that can’t be! It is, too, cruel!’

    Clasped of such earthly thoughts the pain increased, and to breaking point. Yet, Love’s grip was stronger. I yielded. Trusting completely to Love’s own goodness I looked upon this given ‘picture-story,’ the second time; and wondered at the incomprehensible wisdom so black and dark as night to me. Immediately there came a greater dawning: ‘And it was made, for the extension of the glory of the kingdom of heaven; to which is no end, either way.’ Then I saw it all clear and bright as day!

   Every ripple received what he gave it. And all that he gave it was what it had. The power in the falling Stone was in each circling ripple the exact amount of power that he intended it to have. There everyone in that particular ‘ripple’ had all things in common! They had a kind of kindred fellowship one with another: ‘they talked the same language!’ Rarely did they grossly irritate or offend one another. They couldn’t. Their light, their knowledge, was equal.  So there were no micro-explosions of revelatory light by paradox by the interaction of opposites, to rattle them and embarrass them, and unnerve them, with too much light . . . too much glory, which was beyond them, and which could only make them burst, and spoil, and make them blind! ...New wine in old wine bottles; it doesn’t work! It harms. 

     It seemed this design of un-linked concentric ripples was a picture of how God chose to distribute his glory once it had entered the world; that it might be seen, and examined, and delighted in – in each degree that he gave it. ...I saw that in each was a potential for fullness, for all kinds of personal discovery, and peace: each having its own swift song: its own allotted glory to delight in, which could abundantly satisfy! 

      ‘And who are you to say which ripple is best?’

    

     My own heart smote me! To think that I had thought that I should be able to reach across the ripples, to swamp others with what I had, and put upon them my passionate desire that they should have what I had, regardless! Oh, I ran to Love’s ever present arms. There came my blessing: the loving rebuke and chastening which I ever embraced, and cherished;  for without it I could only be left behind; blind, clouded, lost in a wilderness of my own imperfect judgment, and my own stubbornly held onto opinions! Opened to the core, and out from the depths of me, my broken heart spoke and in Love’s own voice...

   ‘How do you know which ripple is best for each person? Do you know my thoughts, or my purpose in each ripple? Who are you? Don’t you know that I can give my glory, which I wish for all my children to delight in, within the faintest ripple as much as in the greatest wave of the upheaval? If I will that those who delight in the merest hint of my glory are to do so because it pleases me, does it not please you? Who are you? My glory is so great that the least touch of it upon man’s spirit is without end. And unto the smallest degree of it shall I cause it to fulfill their joy and my purpose within them unto whom I give it. If I wish to give to the least as much as I give unto the greatest, what is that to you? Follow me.’ 

    The first ripple reached the shore first; but though this first swift circle of a falling Stone is the most tumultuous and suffers the most upheaval, he gives as much to this least as to the greatest for it becomes the least, first; and so on. It was a profound paradox! And I did not think that I understood it. Then to my mind there came this: ‘There was the one which was the beloved; there was the three; there was the twelve; there was the seventy; and there was the five hundred; and there was the multitude; and the whole world.’ But I saw that all were beloved, whatever I thought; for all were given all they could hold; and all they could hold was all they desired! Enter peace; and love! And smitten, knowing I knew nothing, I fell softly. And, mercy, kissed with truth, I landed in Love’s own embrace.

   A circle of swift songs: the melody of degrees; fairly apportioned the glory of the kingdom of heaven.

                                                     

  

                                                *

THE BUTTERFLY STORY: The Shadow and the Substance: a spiritual allegory

    As I moved across the boundaries light grew and grew....and I found out more clearly that there were two distinct ways of acquiring wisdom and knowledge; and the following short story is an allegory of these two different ways that we receive it. This allegory was written at the height of a period in my life when I discovered the absolute joy of learning and receiving everything by trusting in the spirit alone.

    Later, I found out, also, that this story had a strange effect on some people; and I saw that to reduce the offence, further wisdom was needed in order to understand the legitimate place that the other way of learning had. And so after a period of dying to all I knew, another story was given to me. This second allegory – A CIRCLE OF SWIFT SONGS – follows on in the next post on this site.

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 To the Garden Returned

    WAY BACK IN TIME, BEFORE THE DAWN OF FIRST MEMORY there existed a most beautiful garden with a river of light flowing through it which watered it. The garden was planted in an unknown pleasant land, filled with all kinds of trees and herbs, shrubs and flowers. Trees whose fruit was good for food, plants whose structure and beauty was good for the illumining of the mind, and flowers so infused with visionary fragrance they would uplift the soul and fill it with joy. It was a glorious paradise of bliss and innocence, comfort and warmth, and all pervading delight. Its inhabitants lived and moved freely in the garden, drinking from its pools, and caring for its flora and fauna, and learning much from its many wonders. But upon the rise of an exceptionally beautiful morning a seemingly small choice was made by these inhabitants beside one of the pools of water. They drank from the only one which had been forbidden them which drinking from brought an end to innocence and the decline of the garden and its fall into ruins. These inhabitants were soon driven from the garden and out into the wilderness. From then on the garden could no longer exist upon the Earth; but only within the spiritual heavenly hearts of those who lived a life of love and who grieved over their just banishment.

   But, once again, in this inner garden where young ones played there were pools of water. One of which, if they should drink from would bring them blindness, aging, and banishment from the centre of the garden, and an existence of lifeless delusion in its outskirts. And, as before, this dreadful pool was exceedingly beautiful, and truly desirable to give one, wisdom and knowledge and the delight of knowing for oneself. Those children of Love which drank from this pool existed in the outer edges of the garden, blind to their exclusion from its centre, for they had no idea of their true condition, or where they were. The interaction between the youngest children in the centre of the garden and the older ones in its edges was fraught with difficulty, for they could not recognize one another: the thick curtain encircling the centre of the garden a barrier through which they could not understand each other.  

                                                 *

The Butterfly Story:  the Shadow and the Substance       

   A new butterfly had appeared in the midst of the garden. It had never been seen before; although there was rumour of it having been known long ago. The sight of its silvery wings shimmering in the early morning sunlight brought gasps of delight to the children; and they danced in the middle of the garden like butterflies themselves newly escaped of their cocoon! Tender hearts overflowed with boundless joy!

   The butterfly alighted upon the shoulder of one of the smallest children then flew onto his hand. The child remained perfectly still, lying in the grass his feet dipped in the flowing stream. Rewarded for his stillness, time melted away as he gazed and gazed upon the glorious butterfly, pulsating with life and light on his hand. It swept him up and renewed his whole being and he followed the living butterfly whithersoever it flew.

   Oh, how all the children longed to share with others this wonderful new life and liberty which the butterfly had brought them!

   Then some of the older children reasoned amongst themselves as to how they should do this. They came to the conclusion, that if they could just catch the butterfly then they could pass it around to their friends, so that they might all share in this glorious new joy together. Their idea seemed good to them, so they did it.

   They caught the elusive airborne butterfly dancing and shimmering in the warm morning sunlight. They pierced it with a pin.  Then they stuck it on a piece of paper. How eagerly they anticipated the delight their friends would have when they saw the beautiful new butterfly!

   So the children laid out the pierced butterfly, decently and in order, just as the entomology textbook had taught them. Then they carefully placed it, in a box. They were thrilled with it! Here was proof! Now at last all their friends (perhaps even their enemies!) would be able to study it for themselves and learn of the glorious life of the wonderful new butterfly, and come and join them in the garden. They passed the box around expectantly!  

                            So shadows come and the glory fades.

   While some saw nothing but a decaying, common garden ‘Cabbage White,’ and thought they had quite lost their senses ~ these lived on the outskirts of the garden, others did see a beautiful butterfly and became fascinated with its exquisite markings. They spent much time, and many a happy hour, examining it with magnifying glasses, making careful notes of the detailed patterns on its wings and then comparing them with the textbook. They uncovered many amazing things about this new butterfly! They found exciting messages encoded in its lovely markings, which they were most earnest and diligent to teach to one another. Those whose interests and passions seemed similar gathered themselves together in separate groups in the garden.

   Oh, the myriads of messages as fascinating things to learn! They took great delight in these things! With them, they were fulfilled and content; although there never seemed to be quite enough, and their search for more was endless!

                          So shadows came and the glory faded.

   Then one of the smallest children, who lived in the centre of the garden, came and looked at the dead butterfly in the box. ‘What have you done?’ he cried, as he held the lifeless thing in his hand; and he threw it down to the ground and wept in brokenness of heart.

                                        

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MOVING ACROSS THE BOUNDARIES

(This is an article I wrote recently....and thought to post it here on my blog...)

    MOVING ACROSS THE BOUNDARIES. ...As time goes on and our own personal evolution progresses we find an increasing ability to move across the boundaries that once kept us, unknowingly, ‘under lock and key.’

    

   What are these boundaries we need to move across? ...They are self-imposed demarcation lines within us barring us from the very thing we are wanting! This is a huge subject! But here it is distilled it to its essential essence relevant to us for our own forward movement. And in order to maintain the subject spiritually, we need to explore it spiritually, through our spiritual senses, rather than our natural ones. (Personal is spiritual: spiritual is personal. ...Involvement is spiritual, and Heavenly; and gets us taken where we want to go. Outer-knowledge is natural, and Earthly; and gets us left behind! )

    

     As we become more intuitive, so we become more aware of the workings of our own inner mind. ...We are becoming increasingly conscious of even the slightest nuances of thought and minutiae of feelings; and, accompanying them mostly unbeknownst to us, boundaries between inner lands: walls dividing inner realms. ...We catch fleeting glimpses of those things in us we may need to change; and in subconscious fear instantly run from them as we hit the boundary! ...Daily, moment by moment, we are presented with a choice, or a challenge: to maintain that flash of insight we had into our own condition, or to quickly hide from it, push it back down, and bury it! For it is often the case that the thoughts we spy are not those we would like to have! And instead of welcoming these, to understand them and deal with them, we hide from them! This is our habit; and our unhelpful never-ending modus operandi. Yet these very things rising up to the surface in us, knocking on our door, wanting to be seen, exposed and let go are gifts of insight far too valuable to ignore...! No matter how painful they may be...! Growth entails pain. Rather, we interpret it as ‘pain;’ but truly it is treasure, to bring us the very light we were needing!

    The natural thing is to hide from the light that exposes us to our own selves. ...But to function properly our spirit needs new light just as vitally as our bodies need fresh water!  In truth we are learning to become more spiritual, and to be more connected, and in this our spirit needs desperately every intuition into our own condition that it can get – every gifted sight it is given of itself is important; and everything it hears is vital! Blind we cannot travel very far. Deaf we cannot move forward into hearing what we need to hear in order to change to become more filled with light. And there are boundaries to cross within us that we have not allowed ourselves to hear of yet which are keeping us from our truest heart’s desire, and what we most earnestly seek! Therefore, if we are selective with our intuition and shut out what we think are ‘the negative insights,’ we cannot be further released into a fuller expression of our mission and purpose in the world.

     We humans are like ostriches! ...We have all grown up to believe that the thoughts and attitudes within us which witness to us as something ‘bad’ in us, are bad, and, therefore something to quickly hide from so we can’t see them! And there we are not unlike the proverbial ostrich burying our head in the sand and imagining we can’t be seen!!

     Perhaps our ‘ostrich nature’ is in us because we haven’t totally accepted that we are always loved: non-stop; and always forgiven: even before we knew a need in us to be forgiven!!  The acceptance of these two facts is our bedrock. Our foundation. If we built on this we would sail across every boundary known to man! We would fear nothing! It is only fear which holds us back! Fear is our sole enemy! Without fear there would be a greater and greater outworking of our personal call and deeper involvement in the particular part we have been given in the increase of the spiritual wellbeing of humankind upon the Planet.

    But, whilesoever we are running from the light, so it can’t shine on us inside, we are opposing our own selves! ...We are subtly becoming, our own enemy! And so we are missing out...! And being left behind...! But the more we will allow the light to expose us to our own selves, the more full of light we will become, and we will cross The Line – The Boundary, and ‘disappear’ (...being unintelligible to those with less light: because it is considered darkness to them...) and enter heaven here on Earth! *

    The most glorious Afterlife – which surely we all seek – is a realm of total light!  ...So, without our being all exposed to the light, shining in on us where we are here and now, we will not be able to bear the total light of heaven, shining in on us there where we want to be! For light is matched by light, and darkness by darkness: so that wherever we are ‘at’ now is that realm we will actually dwell in then! ...There is only NOW!   

    It could be that we are refusing light thinking it darkness! All our own evolution or forward movement is according to the light we are able to bear knowing that whatever the light exposes in us IS LIGHT not darkness! The darkness in our thoughts and attitudes vanishes at that very moment we accept the light which exposes them in us!  ...All things that are exposed and reproved in us are made visible to us by the light: so that whatever becomes visible to us within us IS LIGHT!  

    Therefore, we should welcome the light that reproves us in us! ...For there is no darkness so great as our refusal to be made manifest by the light!  To run to the light, that it might shine on us in us, is our highest forward movement, and works for our highest joy, and our eternal happiness!

    We are of all people most blessed which understand this! ...This ‘back-to-front-truth!’ For this is the key which unlocks all the doors of all the boundaries that have kept humankind captives since time began! 

                                                                 *

I haven't disappeared, completely!

I haven't disappeared completely!  I have been busy working on other writing projects...plus we have had a busy time in January with lots of family visiting and various events happening...and in New Zealand it is our summer holiday time here...and things are more relaxed. I have enjoyed reading a few fascinating books on the pale blue sofa on our matching blue verandah...immersed in the warmth of summer skies and the serenading of the cicadas...they are almost deafening at times here! 

 I have been revising a book which I originally wrote in 2011....LITTLE BOOK.  A book not of this world, and therefore incomprehensible to it. 

 I live a lonely life writing books no one wants to read! But I am accustomed to being invisible and I am anything but lonely inside...within me, my life is full to the brim! ...and overflowing with love and joy and excitement in being an integral part of the work and purpose of God in the Earth.

 I am learning to move across the boundaries and share the Light I am given of him...and in new and exciting ways that people in the world can easily understand.

 (I will continue the book about books....A BOOK IS LIKE A SACRED ISLE....but I am having a break from it for awhile.)