In writing THE BUTTERFLY STORY I had glimpsed that one way to enter Life! was by a sort of ‘not-doing:’ in simple surrender and rest; but that there could be another way, which was by virtually doing the opposite, and that it could be good, too, I had not been able to bear; for I had crossed over, so completely and any method of acquiring wisdom and knowledge which was by human effort I had long ago learned to abandon within me. But, after a long while of more dying to self and waiting, I was given in a waking dream the hint of a greater truth which I had not previously glimpsed. I was about to discover a deeper level to seeing and perceiving truth; and a greater, or more true dimension of love and peace in which all the sensibilities and giftings of others were fully provided for and there could be no cause for offence.
*
A
Circle of Swift Songs
TEARS HAD FORMED A POOL. And through
them it was as though I was looking from above and seeing down through the
clouds. Mountains and beautiful valleys with cascading rivers and areas of dense
forest were below. Then appearing in the far distance, amidst a great wooded
wilderness, I saw a most beautiful lake. Around its edge were natural
grassy places; flower-filled meadows, the haunt of fallow deer and forest
creatures which came there to drink. But in one place the lake was bordered by
the sheer rock wall of a great high cliff.
It was very still. Not a breath
of wind. The surface of the lake was smooth and clear and shining as glass. It
was all was so quiet there breathed a sense of eternity. Or as if time itself stood still, while
angels watched.
Suddenly, a Stone is dropped, and
from a great height. It plunges into the still water. From its fall, a vortex is
caused in the centre of the lake, a hole greater than the size of the Stone and
a huge fountain of water shoots skyward in the upheaval. The waves caused around it
swell huge at first, then grow successively smaller and smaller as the ripples
extend on and on; until, imperceptibly, they reach the very shores of the lake.
So clearly did I see this all happening that
it seemed to take a very long time to happen? I don’t know. It is hard to
explain in words. But it seemed as though I was seeing everything in slow
motion, for every detail is precise in my memory.
It was only a dream. A fleeting waking vision. But I remembered it vividly, and I wondered what it meant. As I pondered, I saw again
the fall of the Stone. It was the Central Thing: the Stone of Stumbling and the
Rock of Offence. Then I recalled the circles of the waves, slowly decreasing to
become ripples, until they were so small I could hardly notice them. As I
weighed these things in my heart I drew closer, and after a moment I heard the
following words rise from within me; they were not audible words just a silent knowing of something I did not
know.
A circle of swift songs:
The melody of degrees;
Fairly apportioned the glory
Of the kingdom of heaven
Then as I listened there was an
opening in a once shut place, and I could see something of the meaning of the
dream. I suddenly realized it spoke as an answering picture-story to the pain I
was dealing with in my innermost being: the pain of being rejected for speaking
the truth that no one wanted to hear. Then the picture unravelled . . .
The ripples, they had had no
meeting place! In that pattern of concentric circles, not one touched; not one
wave or ripple, met! There was no link
between them. No bridge. Though they followed one after the other in perfect
pattern, they never touched. They had no direct interaction with one another
though they came from the same source and the same power moved them. ...For a
moment I was devastated. All my longings dashed to pieces! No one would hear me
who wasn't in the same ripple as me! I was separated from others! Alone! I really
was…all alone! A sense of grief manifested in the centre of my being, and a sob
rose up and came out of me; and for a moment I cried.
And then Love stooped, and spoke.
Love bent down, and looked upon me; and said, ‘I have made it so.’ My response a baby’s tears; and I just cried
some more. But then the glint of a dawning: ‘It was meant
to be that way...?’ and I marvelled.
As usual my natural, first-sight arose next, to steal away my dawn, and cloud
my insight over, as my own thinking always does. ‘Oh, but why did you make it so? Surely, that can’t be! It is, too, cruel!’
Clasped
of such earthly thoughts the pain increased, and to breaking point. Yet, Love’s
grip was stronger. I yielded. Trusting completely to Love’s own goodness I
looked upon this given ‘picture-story,’ the second time; and wondered at the
incomprehensible wisdom so black and dark as night to me. Immediately there
came a greater dawning: ‘And it was made,
for the extension of the glory of the kingdom of heaven; to which is no end,
either way.’ Then I saw it all clear and bright as day!
Every ripple received what he
gave it. And all that he gave it was what it had. The power in the falling
Stone was in each circling ripple the exact amount of power that he intended it
to have. There everyone in that particular ‘ripple’ had all things in common!
They had a kind of kindred fellowship one with another: ‘they talked the same
language!’ Rarely did they grossly irritate or offend one another. They
couldn’t. Their light, their knowledge, was equal. So there were no micro-explosions of
revelatory light by paradox by the interaction of opposites, to rattle them and
embarrass them, and unnerve them, with too much light . . . too much glory,
which was beyond them, and which could only make them burst, and spoil, and
make them blind! ...New wine in old wine bottles; it doesn’t work! It harms.
It seemed this design of un-linked
concentric ripples was a picture of how God chose to distribute his glory once
it had entered the world; that it might be seen, and examined, and delighted in
– in each degree that he gave it. ...I saw that in each was a potential for fullness, for all kinds of personal
discovery, and peace: each having its own swift song: its own allotted glory to
delight in, which could abundantly satisfy!
‘And who are you to say which ripple is best?’
My
own heart smote me! To think that I had thought that I should be able to reach
across the ripples, to swamp others with what I had, and put upon them my
passionate desire that they should have what I had, regardless! Oh, I ran to
Love’s ever present arms. There came my blessing: the loving rebuke and chastening
which I ever embraced, and cherished; for
without it I could only be left behind; blind, clouded, lost in a wilderness of
my own imperfect judgment, and my own stubbornly held onto opinions! Opened to
the core, and out from the depths of me, my broken heart spoke and in Love’s
own voice...
‘How do you know which ripple is best for each person? Do you know my
thoughts, or my purpose in each ripple? Who are you? Don’t you know that I can
give my glory, which I wish for all my children to delight in, within the
faintest ripple as much as in the greatest wave of the upheaval? If I will that
those who delight in the merest hint of my glory are to do so because it
pleases me, does it not please you? Who are you? My glory is so great that the
least touch of it upon man’s spirit is without end. And unto the smallest
degree of it shall I cause it to fulfill their joy and my purpose within them
unto whom I give it. If I wish to give to the least as much as I give unto the
greatest, what is that to you? Follow me.’
The
first ripple reached the shore first; but though this first swift circle of a
falling Stone is the most tumultuous and suffers the most upheaval, he gives as
much to this least as to the greatest for it becomes the least, first; and so
on. It was a profound paradox! And I did not think that I understood it. Then
to my mind there came this: ‘There was the one which was the beloved; there was
the three; there was the twelve; there was the seventy; and there was the five
hundred; and there was the multitude; and the whole world.’ But I saw that all
were beloved, whatever I thought; for all were given all they could hold; and
all they could hold was all they desired! Enter peace; and love! And smitten,
knowing I knew nothing, I fell softly. And, mercy, kissed with truth, I landed
in Love’s own embrace.
A circle of swift songs: the melody of degrees;
fairly apportioned the glory of the kingdom of heaven.
*
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